Sunday, October 18, 2015

Private Crucifixion

I been reading this blog for a while, like since it started and it really strikes home. Crucifixion has been fascination of me for such a long time. Since I was a kid I think. I had to write down my experience and what happen to me.

I'm a girl 22 years old, call me Sandy. It's not my real name. I stand 5'5", am skinny with pretty good boobs. My hair changes color a lot, but its long and usually dark, like black. I not been a virgin since my daddy took it from me when I was 12. He's in jail now so it don't matter.

Something went wrong with me when I was like, a kid. Growing up. My dad used to touch me a lot, and he was my first, like I said. When he went to jail it was my brother and me, he is 4 years older and he took care of me but I was pretty wild so sometimes he would chain me to some pipes. He knew dad had done me, and I had done other guys since then and in order to get him to let me loose I would blow him and then he would let me go when he wasn't around.

I could always get something from my bro if I wanted it, first with a bj and later I fucked him. He was pretty good actually except he really liked to tie me up when he did me. He'd tie my elbows behind my back when I did a bj, and he would tie me spread eagle when he fucked me. It was OK with me as long as I got what I wanted and I actually began to enjoy it some.

That time when I was younger was what really got me into bondage I think, sort of maybe twisted me a bit? Ever since I was having sex, it was always together with getting tied up, sometimes really tight, and so it just sort of came natural like. Sex and getting tied up I mean.

When I turned 17 I had to make some money, and I worked fast food for a bit but it was awful and got fired, and later with another job I was fucking the manager, some pimple face kid only a year or two older than me, to keep my job. We used to do it in the tiny office in the back, in the chair with my legs over the arms and up on the desk and wall. He had some handcuffs and liked to cuff me so my hands were behind my back and stuck to the chair, and then he pretended to rape me. That part got me a raise.

It was when I was fucking my manager and my bro, I was 18 I think, that i saw this web site a porn web site at my managers computer he was watching and it had girls all tied up and hurting, and it sort of turned me on, like... how come I can't do that, I wanna have sex that way, cause it would be better.

One of the scenes was with this girl that got hung up on a cross, and i watched it over and over again, seeing how she couldn't move and was hurting and this sadist guy just watched and even whipped her a little bit. It made me think and I remember I actually went home and was fucking my bro at night, but thinking about this girl hanging there all exposed and on display and it turned me on so bad.

So I'm thinking its really hot, and dreaming about it. I know, I am kinda sick for that, but whatever I ain't hurting no one else. But then I thought, hey, those girls are getting paid for that and its something I might actually want. I did want it. I went to the web site and saw where they wanted models, and asked what they would do, like, their limits and stuff. I filled out the form, not really thinking, I didn't think they would ever like, contact me or anything. I took a pic of myself and uploaded it and then forgot about it.

Two weeks later I get this call. I'm blown away. Like, here I am this 18 year old working McDonald's and this big porn company is calling me. They want me to come in for an interview, like as if it were a real job. Turned out it was sorta like a real job, but it was 100 miles away but the money was like... they said anything from $1,000 to $3,000 for one day work. Holy Crap. So I said I would be there on my day off.

Well, they liked me. I could kinda tell this sadist guy that was in the pictures I saw on the web site, he interviewed me himself and he was sorta like a father figure... LOL hahaha... like my father. He liked me cause I was really young and looked cute. Yeah. They went through stuff, made sure I knew what I was getting into. They were gonna tie me up in weird positions and make me expose myself. They were sorta honest, and said they actually liked the girls to start crying and beg and stuff, for real because it made for a good show.

Yeah, they were just like my dad, and my bro. Horny and got off on girls tied up and suffering while they fucked them or jerked off. Good thing I had been raised that way and sort of liked it.

They had me strip during the interview and bend over and spread my legs and stuff, but they didn't fuck me or anything. I woulda fucked them if they had asked, but, they said there would be no fucking in the whole thing, though I might have stuff sticked up inside me, like any of my holes. But it would all be real hygenic and everything.

While they were talking I said something about the cross and asked if I would be up on it, and they laughed and said that was for more experienced girls. I guess I looked disappointed because they asked why and I told them I sorta had gotten real interested in it. They perked up a lot at that and asked a bunch more questions. I told them how I really wanted it, how it had sort of become my dream to be crucified and on display.

Anyway, they offered me the job, and we even set a date, made sure I wasn't going to be on the rag or anything. They would take pics and video the thing, in the basement of this building in the city where I interviewed. I sorta knew what they would be doing to me, but not exactly, but fuck the money was too good to pass up. A whole month's salary for one day? Fuck yeah.

That day I show up and this lady takes me down to the basement and there's like, 5, 6 guys. They checked my ID for age before, but they checked again and had me sign all sorts of waivers, saying I wouldn't sue them or be mad if I got hurt. Yeah, yeah.

They gave me clothes to change into, some really loose and sexy revealing clothes that made me look like a complete slut. Then they roll cameras and tied me up still clothed, in this really weird position with ropes going all over and my legs all twisted around. I had never been tied up that tight before. These guys were really good, I could tell right away by the way there was like, no way I could get out from the tie.

They cut the clothes off me, I guess thats why they gave me the slut clothes, and pretty soon I was naked and this guy had his hands all over me, pinching and probing and then he gags me with this ball gag and I start drooling all over my boobs as I hang there and the guys with the cameras roam around. I'd never been gagged before and the drooling part sorta surprised me.

Oh, they gave me a sort of safe word to use, but told me I would be gagged so the safe word was actually a sort of grunt, like "uh-uh". Other than that I could cry and beg and plead and scream and moan all I wanted and they didn't care. I wasn't crying or moaning or anything at that point, until they stuck this dildo up inside me and reamed me out good. It was sorta like a really complicated versions of the rape stuff my boss back at Mickey D's used to like.

Anyway, to skip by a lot of the shit they did to me, I will say they tied me in three or four different positions and stuck dildos up me, and made me suck the dildos, and some of it was sort of intense and hurt, but I didn't use the safe word once because I knew if I did they would stop and I wouldn't get any money. I did cry a little though, and my snot was running out of my nose like a river. It sort of felt like my bro, my dad, and the manager all fucking with me all at once, except worse.

I'm tied up in the corner and they get out this cross. Like... whoa... They aren't filming but I am just sitting off to the side tied up unable to move or anything and they are getting out this major big wooden thing and setting down on the floor. I hadn't expected that, but there it was. I knew then I was going up on that cross, and was going to get my dream come true, whether it was nightmare or not.

They started filming again, and dragged me ass over to the cross, and made me lie down on it. Oh-- they made me kiss if first, sort of make love to it, which was incredibly weird but also incredibly hot. I'm completely naked, and the guys with cameras are focusing on my facing kissing the wood, and on my cunt and everything, so I am putting on a pretty good show kissing and licking and humping this wood. So then they make me lie down on it and start tying me to it.

It felt like totally different from any other time I'd been tied up, because this was with my arms up and spread out, and I felt really open and exposed. My knees were bent before they tied my feet, and the ropes went around my wrists like, a dozen times. It didn't just feel weird, it felt like humiliating and vulnerable. It kinda turned me on.

They then lifted the cross up with some ropes and stuff. There was a hole in the floor where the bottom of the cross went, and they sorta guided it and made it go in the hole. As I went up I felt more and more weird, like I was being put on display, and it made me feel really uncomfortable.

When the cross got almost all the way up my body slumped down and pulled on my arms and wrists. Yeah! That was the sensation I had imagined the girl experiencing before, that I had masturbated to, and it didn't feel good at all. It wasn't horribly painful like I thought, but it didn't feel good either. I sort of hung there for a while, the cameras video me, and my arms got tired and were stretched and hurting and so I pushed up on my feet against the ropes below and lifted myself up. That felt better for a bit, though my chest pushed out and my boobs stuck out and the guys with the cameras went crazy getting shots of it.

I guess I also sorta pushed out my hips and my cunt then, too. It was such a weird feeling, no one was forcing me to do it but I didn't want to just hang by my arms so that's what I had to do. Like, I was pushing out my cunt and going "hey guys, look at this! It's my cunt! Yeah, it hurts and I have to show you my cunt so it stops hurting a while, isn't that cool?"

After a while I sagged back down again. The asshole that ran the place came over and played with my tits for a while, and put clamps on them. That hurt. They weren't nice clamps, they were evil ones that really hurt going on and hurt even worse coming off.

I wasn't crying on the cross but I think I scrunched my face because it hurt. The guy asked what it felt like, and I told him about the pressure in my shoulders, and the cramping in my arms and back. Then I pushed up again. Telling him about the pain seemed to make him happy. His getting off on my pain made me horny, too, which was really weird.

I must have been there a half hour or so, going up and down every few minutes. Whenever I went down my knees had a tendency to spread and show off my cunt. Whenever I pushed myself up, my hips had a tendency to push out and show off my cunt. No matter what I did, I guess I showed off my cunt. My arms being lifted up and stretched out did a great job showing off my boobs, too. I saw some of the pics later and they looked really good in that position. I got good boobs.

So after a half hour the guy gets a whip, a small light one, and sort of whips me. I know he wasn't doing it hard but it stung like fire after the first few strokes. That did make me cry a bit.

Then they did something really unexpected. They got this vibrator, a kind I had never seen before. It had a small head on it, pretty much designed just to stimulate a clit, and that's what they did. He took this thing and turned it on and vibrated my clit. At first I was like... what the fuck... and then I was like... oh yeah... and then I was like... omg omg omg and I came right there, hanging from the cross, while being filmed.

That was totally embarrassing. They had made me cum. Like, actually forced me to orgasm. Not liked I objected to it, but it wasn't something I was doing, it was something they were doing to me!. And the cameras were close in, showing my pussy, how wet it was, and then on my face as I came.

Not much happened after that, they let me down and let me clean up and take a shower. Afterward the guy handed me a check. $1,500. I thought it was going to be $1,000 but it was more and I was like, what is this?

Because I had done really well, and had gone up on the cross, I got a bonus. Soooo coooool. The cross was actually pretty good, too, I felt like a total pain slut and wanted to do it again, though I didn't say that to him right then.

He invited me back again, asked if I wanted to play in private sometime. I was like, what does that mean?

He says, sometimes the girls that actually are into bondage like to come play after hours, have some fun, just with him and maybe one or two other people. He would pay regular rates if I wanted.

Fuck yes. I had fun that day, and while it felt sorta scary and hurt, I also sorta liked it, and if he was paying I would do it. For sure.

My wrists were sorta fucked up from the crucifixion, but not badly. The red went away in about a day and it didn't hurt.

The next time I got crucified was at night, and was a private sort of deal maybe a month later. This time the guy said I might get fucked, and I said OK but I wanted extra money for it. I didn't think it mattered, I would have fucked them for free anyway, but I sort of thought I should ask. He said OK.

So no one was in the building this time except for the sadist guy and four of his guy friends, and one girl (who was really pretty) that I had seen around before. The lights were dimmer and it was eerie, like positively dungeon like. They made a big deal out of stripping me, acting like they were abducting and forcing me, though I was actually helping them.

Then they tied me over a sort of wooden bench thing and whipped my ass. It hurt like hell, a lot worse than the whipping I had before on the cross. When they stopped my ass was burning like it was on fire and I was crying. It struck me then that I didn't know whether I could use my safe word then, they hadn't talked about it. Oh well, it didn't matter cause I wasn't going to.

So then the guys started to fuck me. I was still bent over this wooden thing, my legs spread apart, ass burning, and they came up behind and stuck it in me and pumped. It felt OK, I couldn't really see them though I could kinda tell which one was inside me. A couple of guys came on my ass, and then they whipped me some more and the girl put clamps on my nipples which hurt like hell.

Two other guys fucked me then. It's funny to think that I had fucked like, 5 guys before then and in that one night I doubled the number of guys I had fucked. It was like an orgy, and I actually began to imagine that I was a slave in old Rome, being used by her masters, and it was fun. I really got into it then.

So they put me up on the cross again, I think this was one of the main reasons for the whole gig, was for the guys to be able to come watch a real girl getting crucified, live. I'd done it before, and the sensations of hanging there were sort of similar but they had changed where my wrists were tied or something because the angle was all off and caused a lot of cramping in my shoulders right away.

All the guys are sitting around stroking their cocks just looking at me, drinking beers and laughing. Whenever I moved or made some noise they laughed or looked closer. When I tried standing up they made fun of me. I blushed the first couple of times because having those guys right there in the room watching me and getting off and me helpless up there was just... humiliating.

Still, it was what I wanted. I wanted to be humiliated and hurt. It was like, I truly felt I deserved it and being used and fucked and hurt like that was the only way I was achieving, like, my destiny. So I hung there and got wet between my legs and one of the guys saw it and everyone came over and were like, "wow, look at this, the cunt is such a pain slut" and they were right.

It made me cry, partly because of how embarrassing it was, mixed with the pain and stuff from being hung up. I dunno how long I was up there, but they did me with the little vibrator after a while and I came, really loud. The girl had been sitting looking at me and had taken most of her clothes off and given a couple of the guys short BJs, while I hung and watched.

After a while the girl came over and started sucking my pussy. I had never had a girl do that to me before, and it was so strange to know a girl was tonguing me, but she did and it felt just as good. I didn't cum as easy as when they used the vibrator but I came.

You know how weird it is to be tied up and hurting, like in pain from stuff and also be sexually aroused and actually have orgasms and stuff? It wasn't like it had never happened before, I had sex tied up plenty of times even sometimes when it hurt, and I guess it isn't that much of a surprise.

But after a while it started getting really hard to breathe. I don't know how long I was up there, a lot longer than before, maybe a couple of hours and it was getting really bad. The drool and snot and tears covered my face and breasts, and I desperately wanted to scratch an itch but couldn't, and I wanted to wipe my face but couldn't, and I wanted to relieve the pressure on my arms and shoulders and chest and couldn't. My body hung out and away from the cross because of the angle and that hurt a lot worse and I began sobbing and asking to be let down.

The sobbing and begging was like, the part they had been waiting for I think. All those guys got like excited, and began talking to me, asking me how much it hurt and teasing me. They really were cruel, asking me what I would do if they let me down, like would I be their slave or would I eat their shit, and they told me to beg in certain ways which I did but they still didn't let me down.

My hands throbbed with pain, like they were swollen or something, because maybe the blood couldn't get to them cause of the rope, and my arms felt all stretched to their limits, and my shoulders were twisted and cramping every way I turned. Nothing made it feel better.

I had gotten thirsty too, I don't know why but it was so much worse because there was nothing I could do about it. They wouldn't give me water. Right about then I peed, I mean, I didn't mean to pee, it just came streaming out. The guys were like, yeahhhhh..... and all happy I had just suddenly peed against my will.

My legs were getting shaky and weak from being up there, and it was harder to raise myself up. I was panting, like, painting and crying at the same time. I wanted down, though I also felt like, really like dirt right then. I think I lost my mind for a while, just lost it, feeling completely like a total slut that deserved nothing but pain and torture and to be forced to eat shit and be used and raped.

They stuck a dildo up my ass while I was hanging there, and reamed me out while I begged. They told me that if I begged to be ass fucked hard enough they would consider letting me down, so I begged, asking for then to get a bigger dildo, to fuck it hard and deep and make me bleed. They inserted a second dildo up my cunt then, so both were inside and I thought my bottom side was going to just rip open. I kept begging, asking them to do me so they would let me down, that I was a whore, a cunt, a slave, a piece of shit.

Well, the sadist guy who ran the place finally called a halt and let me down. I collapsed at the foot of the cross, unable to move my muscles were so fucked up. One of the guys wanted to fuck me again, but the sadist guy in charge wouldn't let him, said I had enough and the evening was over.

The girl came over and sort of cleaned me up, helped me stand after a while and gave me water. She told me real sweetly that I had done real good, that I should be proud, and I was, too. I had survived being crucified real bad, and had even enjoyed parts of it, enough I had several orgasms when I was up on the cross.

They gave me a check for $2,000 that night, which was so cool, I quit my job at McD's, which was a mistake because I spent all $2K on coke and H in the next couple of weeks and didn't have money for rent and my brother was going to kick me out. I went back to the porn place, and did a few more gigs for them, some of which were even more intense outside at some farm place, and it was really good money but I couldn't keep doing it so I got a job at Walmart and turned some tricks for this guy I know.

I been crucified once more since that night, and it was incredible, I am convinced I want to be crucified again, but only if the dudes actually know how to do it. Because, like, I don't want to die, yanno?